Posted on April 25, 2016
The truth is in the lie is quit an oxymoron. As for telling a lie most of us would admit they hate it, most would say they despise being lied to but what about when the tables turn and we lie to someone else or just speak half of the truth? The small white lies, you know, the ones we keep hidden within ourselves while telling ourselves it’s ok no one is going to get hurt, no one is going to find out. Once the little white lies are found out did it really hurt someone? Why do you think there is this need to be dishonest in society? Is there ever a reason to give the green light and lie?
Lying comes in all shapes and sizes. There are the lies to make ourselves look good, to over float the ego and self-worth. The deceivers who are deceptive and manipulate people and I call them the marionettes. They are the ones pulling the strings and making those they have targeted to do what they want them to do. Then there is the dangerous kind, those who lie and actually believe their own lies – they are the habitual liars. These people wouldn’t know the truth if it jumped up and bit their faces.
I’m talking about puffed up storytellers and it makes me think of the used car salesman. Some are honest so I don’t want to label all car sales man as “shady characters” but how many of us dread walking into a car dealership? There’s a reason for it.
Lying corrupts humanity, it creates a world of suspicion and takes away our ability to trust those around us. What is it in our society that breeds lying? Why can’t people just tell truth?
Dr. Robert Feldman, author of The Liar in Your Life: The Way to Truthful Relationships states “People lie because they can get away with it, because it works for them,” he says “It’s a way to get along with other people. It’s a way to control your world, and it’s a way that you can use to make other people do what you want them to do.” What’s your thoughts on this statement?
Would you agree that lying is exhausting? Having to remember what was said and who it was said to? I use this example of a friend who I’ve known for several years. She and I would be having a normal conversation about work and family. While listening to her she would be telling me the most off the wall story and I knew that what she was saying wasn’t all true. The beefed up exaggerating comments drove me crazy. It really put a wedge between us because I never knew what to believe. How can we have real relationship with someone whom we don’t believe and trust? There is some form of truth in a lie, but as humans there are those who feel they have to “add” to the story. Maybe it’s someone’s exaggerated image of themselves that has to be protected and not reveal their true identity.
Below is a video clip of one of my favorite movies, “Something’s Gotta Give” with Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton. In the video clip Jack gets caught having dinner with another woman, he explains to Diane by saying, “I’ve always told you some version of the truth.” Check it out.
I’ll touch lightly on this one and that is GOSSIP. It’s poison to our livelihood. Don’t participate! Ok, off my soapbox, but seriously gossip is best friends with lying. Gossip can lead to lying, especially if you get caught with the mouth open. It ruins relationships, makes those doing the talking untrustworthy. What if the thing we are gossiping about isn’t true to begin with? Now, we are untruthful as well.
The end game is most people want to be trusted and want to trust others. We are all human, so it’s inevitable that mistakes will be made but try and think of the end result the next time temptation strikes to not be so honest or to exaggerate the truth a little. There are always consequences to be paid.